Long story short,
I never really enjoyed working in a team as much as now. In my 5 year of sabbatical bachelor (uh, long time for just a bachelor), working with student colleagues for me was not more than just a nuisance. I wasn’t a good teamworker back then, I prefer to do everything alone because always felt faster. I’m gonna be a greedy algorithm person all the time, so rushing toward something gimme more chill than, slow but well prepared approach. I was like this even after moved to professional working environment. Continuing some works from previous workers had done was good enough to give me an headache. The way I overcame this wasn’t not even better.
I always did prepare the clean slate and start from the scratch. I did this for almost every workflow of mine. Because I don’t want people to spill my codes. I codecheck everything, makesure everything okay, then make my own version and start from there. But then, when the inbound pressure keeps coming in, I just realised (oh really), that this way is not even faster. This solitude won’t gimme any slight second faster execution time. So, I just rubbed my face, clinging my emotion to a very small dark corner, open my eyes and telling myself, a pressure is meant to be shared. Then, start talking to the boss and share this burden. Well, an unexpected decision but slowly, started to get attached to this kind of conversation. Started to like the idea of four-eyes discussion and glad I’m between nice people (nice people do exist).
Now, people keep saying I’m one of the most indulgent, lenient and patient person they have been working with. I don’t really like the idea but it’s a compliment I guess. See? Even I don’t want people to recognise that I have changed. No one in this world, except for the closest one probably, that will taste my wrath. Haha just kidding, seldom is just the best word to describe how often the temper of mine is rising. Flat, bland and boring describe my emotional probably.
So enough for the intro, this post basically just my argument on how working with different people, sometime brings either happiness or tears. Why? Because people are unique. Bounded by some similarities, for example in sense of geographical references does not make relation between Indonesian in Sweden as solid as rock. Small friction in a pep talk could rise into a big dispute (wow it’s real). Small strife and ignorance towards other, will do make some keeping a social distance. This distance contributes significantly to their social circles. In a way that we supposed to have very small or even no boundaries, now we have gap as big as Red Sea in between.
I see old myself on those people, either the bad or good actors. The one that never embrace themselves to be a person who open to others more. Like wise man said, when someone slaps you on the right cheek, touch him gently on his left cheek. I believe on an idea in where you do a good deeds to someone, immeasurable retaliation is something you’ll get somewhere in the future. And for a bonus, you’re gonna be as lenient as a soft butter because now you could maintain your good mood. Not really affected by surroundings. Becoming more ignorant, but in positive way. You build your filter for negative moods and believe me, this will affect your circles. Start by yourself.
to Angga & Ade,
two persons which I must say, have been in a situation which most people could not handle but now I’m nothing but sort of proud. Congratulations for both of you. Now you guys lead a small family and can’t wait to see her this year.
to Nesia,
I did, I am and will always admire you. I guess I am lucky to have you here, thousand miles from home. You’re very special person that first time on my life, I do feel that I always have a time to share with (you). The way you always seek forward and never look back was an inspiration for me. I would say, you’re a dynamic programming person, are you not? You learned from what you did, and plan everything carefully. The perfectionist at its best, deliver only the best and with unrivaled focus ability. I apologize for defocusing you (often) these days.