I am 29 years old
As a person who was born in January, perhaps new year solution is still in the air. But I didn’t really think that way. Not even once, because I’m bad at planning. I do care less on planning and perhaps will still be like this forever. Some people say seems to care about that though. Keep makes me uncomfy. After the thesis, I deliberately read less and less and somewhat, it made me dull and scrolling and scrolling through social media’s timelines won’t help no more.
What’s next?
Finishing my master thesis was considered to be the light at the end of the tunnel. I did it, and I am happy to have my name now a lil bit longer. But it’s not over yet, new chapter has arrived and much harder. Much much harder. I am pursuing my dream right now, got closer and closer. 40 hours per week I had to put and provide. What do I get though? Even more question marks and slap to my face trying to say that I am not even close to what person I was expecting to be. A person who can contribute 120% to the job, keep delivering perfect marks from chefen or the manager. But instead, I’d rather consider myself a totally blank paper with litres of black tint lying next to it. Ready to be written with more and more new things. I feel content.
Enduring
I would prefer to call it, fresh start and adaptation. A cycle anyone will eventually has to go through everytime a new chapter comes. And indeed, it is hard even for me who have stayed in Sweden for 2.5 years already. Working environment is totally different from everything I’ve been involved within university. The pace, the degree of error, the perfection and the way we interact with each others are just totally on whole new different page. Kind of a letdown at first, but really to me they were merely a challenge. I didn’t give up and I just need to embrace the uncomfortable and endure.
What’s in February?
3 months of adaptation chapter has started to become less uncomfortable and more convenient. I know some people, mostly new colleagues and I’ve found some similar situations we are facing together. Bounded by lack of experiences has created a fun and positive atmosphere on a collective kind of study. Kind of entering new class with full of new students feeling. It is awesome and what is left now is just two main parts, a driving license and a proper apartment.